This interview was done face to face in 2005 before Jeannie D got her Top Billing role. She was very popular on Goodhope FM at the time.
RT: My first question is what is your relationship status?
JD: I’m single
RT: And why is that? You are a gorgeous, really vibrant woman.
JD: Yes, but I am still young and I think that my focus for now is my career, and settling myself. I want to be strong for myself, before I can offer someone else anything.
RT: What do you find attractive in a man? And why?
JD: hmmm just a very strong character and personality. For instance drugs, promiscuity, stuff like one night stands and casual sex, is a huge turn off for me.
RT: But how are you going to know what their plans are?
JD: I’ll ask first, I am very upfront! Just somebody that you can connect with, I don’t think you can choose who you want to be with, it just happens, I think the minute I do have a relationship with someone it has got to be that instant chemical reaction, where you just know – okay I can click with this person!
RT: How do you as a woman, get what you want from a man?
JD: I don’t believe in playing games because then you are setting yourself up for disaster, you have got to be completely honest if you are in to someone. How do I get what I want? I’m just honest, and I am, what I am. I don’t play any games! I tell someone what I have to offer at this point in time… so if they can handle it, stick around baby!
RT: What are things that men do, that turns you off?
JD:Physically I like tall well groomed men. So, fat little shorties or someone who doesn’t show pride in themselves is so out of the question – a huge turnoff. When they try to impress me or to buy me it’s the worst thing. Especially in Cape Town, you will get some old dodgy dude who drives a Ferrari and he will think that he can just sweep you off your feet, that is the biggest turn off at the moment. Another turn off is when a guy speaks badly of women, even his ex-girlfriend. And of course when a guy is with me and he checks out other chicks, I cannot handle that.
RT: But surely you can’t blame him in a public place?
JD: But then his focus is not on me, which means: why should I be giving you this much attention if you can’t offer me the same respect. It is all a respect issue!
RT: Do you believe that opposites attract and why?
JD: Yes! I believe opposites attract (and not because of the Paula Abdul song…), but I just believe when you are looking for a partner you are attracted to the things that that other people have, that maybe you don’t have. So if I maybe don’t have patients, I will be turned on by someone who has patience and that inner calm. I really do think you go for people who have aspects that you don’t have in your own personality, another example I can give is, if you are a struggling musician you will obviously be attracted to someone who has got a little more status, maybe a little bit more drive and of course a bit more of a career going for him/her.
RT: Do you believe in love at first sight?
JD:Yes. Absolutely!!! That instant chemical attraction, that is obviously the physical attraction that is helping the love along, but think about it, it is so difficult to meet someone that you connect with on every level. So I think that when you do, and you know it, I think yes it can develop into love and I think strong emotions can stem from that….
RT: Have you experienced love at first sight?
JD: Yes my first love! That was most definitely love at first sight and it lasted for 3 and a half years, we were totally in love!
RT: Do guys treat you differently when you’re alone vs. when you’re with your girlfriends?
JD: Yes they definitely do. I think men try and impress you more when you are with a group of people, I think it must be quite intimidating for a man to approach a woman when she is with a group of people.
RT: So you are better off when you are in a group of people?
JD: No! I think you get to see a sincerer part of that person when you are alone, well being in the nature of work that I am in, I think men are very intimidated initially, and I think they feel that they need to come across in a certain way to almost compete. South Africa is still quite a conservative country, and I think people still see woman as the woman in the kitchen, bare-foot and pregnant and not really being the bread winner! And I can understand where men are coming from if their girlfriends earn more than them, I think that is a huge set back for a man, and I can imagine him to get quite scared, you are affecting his ego and pride.
RT: Are you concerned by that?
JD: No I don’t care, that’s not what it is about. We live in a society where yes those things are important, but personally no! I wouldn’t want to be the someone who wants to be the house-wife, or have the house-husband. I wouldn’t want to support someone but it is not about how much money he has, but I think about being with someone who has a dream and who has a mission, and has a passion towards what he is doing. But then he can earn 10 million rand or 10 rand a month, it makes no difference as long as he has that inner drive.
RT: What do you and your girlfriends discuss about relationships?
JD: My closest girlfriend is also a very successful career woman, so at the moment our only topic of conversation is about how men are so scared off by us…
RT: Do you think the feminist revolution has changed things?
JD: I can’t handle feminism! I think feminists ruined it for real ladies!!! I don’t want to be on the same level as a man, I don’t want to sink that low. But I believe in Chivalry, as much as I want to be successful in my career, I do want to get married one day and I do want to have children, and I don’t want to work when I have those children. So I do want to stay at home as long as they are babies, and then when they go off, I can do my own thing again. But really feminists just ruined it! Because now men are more worried – do I open the door for this woman or will she turn around and scream at me? We are not allowing a man to be chivalrist, you are not allowing him to be a gentleman which is what he actually should be. People have turned our world into something that’s easier to be slugged than it is to make a good effort, good values, good morals or good old fashioned ideas, and if people had to put those into practice, I think they would be a lot happier in their relationships. We wouldn’t have as many divorces as we do now, we wouldn’t have such a high AIDS rate because people wouldn’t need to sleep with every Tom, Dick and Harry to feel full.
RT: On the marriage aspect of it, how do you see it, can one still maintain an interesting fun, loving relationship once married? Or is it really the be-all and end- all of love?
JD: I think people put too much emphasis on the marriage, I mean what is the difference whether you live with your boyfriend or if you are married to him? Nothing! It is a contract you have with the government basically, or with the church, or however you got married. It’s just a piece of paper really, and the same ideas and spark that was there in the beginning should still be there. If you decide you want to spend the rest of your life with this person, it doesn’t mean okay well now that I am married I can stop having sex with him! It just means you have got to build on what you originally started off with. Otherwise what is the point, then you are only with someone until you find better.
RT: Do you have any suggestions for women on how to be sexy, interesting, and beautiful and to get what they want from a relationship?
JD: You know what, a woman can be the ugliest frump in the whole world, but if she has confidence, and she thinks that this fat ass of hers is so sexy she is going to come across as being sexy – it’s all in the attitude!!! You can also get the hottest girl in the world, and she can be the most insecure and miserable thing but she can be gorgeous! She is however not going to be considered sexy because she is biting her nails; she is not coming across with a good attitude or a good karma.
RT: What do you think of the things that woman do wrong when it comes to relationships?
JD: With my experience most recently, woman must never try and think how men think, (on the same token, men must never try and get into the mind of a woman) because what happens in that instance is women get very scared and intimidated! Instead of just treating the person that they are on a date with as a friend, they are just putting too much pressure on, and thinking oh my goodness what now… and basically, what girls end up doing is they sleep with guys too quickly! They also start hounding them with sms’s; they fall in love way too quickly, instead of just letting it grow naturally. They think okay I am only going to get this guy, or he is only going to stay with me if I sleep with him. And yet the opposite happens, a guy is going to get totally turned off, because yes a man will try and sleep with you on the first date, he doesn’t necessarily want you to reciprocate, and chances are if you don’t sleep with him on the first date he will phone you in the morning, and want to see you again. If you do give in, then things are going to get awkward!
RT: What suggestions do you have for guys, in terms of approaching women?
JD: I think guys should start respecting women a lot more, I mean I am generalising – your average guy is out in the club looking for a hot girlfriend, it’s not going to happen! And it comes down to not only lack of respect for women, but also comes down to lack of self respect!
RT: What is your idea of a perfect date?
JD: Honestly, I think there is also too much emphasis placed on that that can almost make someone so nervous, that you are not going to enjoy yourself.
RT: Okay let me rephrase that, what are fun things to do on a date?
JD: Well summer in Cape Town is the most romantic place and town in the world, because you can simply go and get yourself a take-away pizza, nice bottle of wine, two gorgeous little wine glasses and go to the beach, and watch the sunset – it’s absolutely picturesque and everything is there! The mood, the scenery and the aesthetic surroundings. Definitely would be my favourite thing to do on a date. Otherwise something that is totally unexpected, I think the element of surprise is always keen on a date. So if you could totally do something to a girl that she is not expecting and totally sweep her off her feet, she is going to fall in love!! The element of surprise is just priceless and a beautiful memory!
Jeannie D has left Goodhope FM and now works on Top Billing full time. Access her profile on Top Billing here.